Disengaged, unenthralled, bored.

Doodle, the only productive thing I've done all week.

olks, I have something to admit. I am so, so, SO bored.

I have the last-semester-EVER at a university itch, and I absolutely cannot stay engaged. At all. I have never cared less about my education than I do right now. And I should care, since I am paying an arm and a leg for it. I should be wringing every last drop out of it, learning as much as I possibly can.

But here's the thing. And I have never, EVER complained about this before.

My program is teaching me too much in the way of critical thinking and theory. And yet I am in the final year of a baccalaureate degree in SCIENCE, for pete's sake, and I can barely describe the anatomy of the human body in scientific terms, let alone normal physiology. You want to know about disease processes? Forget about it. I feel like I don't remember a darn thing.

I can tell you a great deal about establishing therapeutic relationships, phenomenology, Nursing theory. But it has been two years now since I have learned anything about pharmacology, or nursing process.

Since I now possess excellent critical thinking skills, I know exactly where to find all the information I lack, of course. But I am about to enter into the working world, and here's the thing:

I know exactly what nursing as a profession needs, and I have learned enough that I could probably change the world if I wanted to. But I haven't learned enough about the actual job I will be performing when I graduate to be confident doing it. I never thought I'd say this, but I wish my schooling had involved just a wee bit more memorization work. Especially if it meant writing fewer papers.

I am so, so frustrated. And did you know, internet, that I am taking a class on critiquing research IN MY FINAL YEAR OF EDUCATION? Not, oh, I don't know, in first year, where I could then have used that knowledge every time I chose scientific references for my papers.

I see the value of what I have learned. I am prepared to enter into nursing practice.

But I'm not so sure I feel ready to enter into a nursing JOB.