Grab your tissues, folks.

Melissa posted this beautiful video today, and it made me cry like a baby.



Theo's Birth video from hailey bartholomew on Vimeo.

This is just exactly why I feel I'm meant to work with childbearing women, someday, in some capacity. Imagine getting to witness this kind of beauty every day - that kind of goodness is just too much for words.

Overwhelmed.

have been a bad girl. This semester for me was seriously backloaded in terms of due dates, and therefore, in the next twenty-two days, I have the following to do:

1. 8-10 page paper on hospice care
2. In-class presentation about hospice care, followed by a 4-page reflection about said presentation
3. In-class presentation about the need to bring back professional nursing associations in Canada
4. Reflective practice Narrative re: something, anything I have done in Practicum
5. Short in-class presentation related to my practicum
6. 10-page critique of 2 research articles
7. Final practicum self-evaluation
8. Prepare a teaching plan and teach 6 classes of high school kids about healthy relationships, birth control, nutrition, and Diabetes (not all on the same day).

Um, yikes. Where was my foresight? Wish me luck! It may be a while until you see me here again - 22 days, perhaps. Good thing I didn't commit to NaBloPoMo.

Disengaged, unenthralled, bored.

Doodle, the only productive thing I've done all week.

olks, I have something to admit. I am so, so, SO bored.

I have the last-semester-EVER at a university itch, and I absolutely cannot stay engaged. At all. I have never cared less about my education than I do right now. And I should care, since I am paying an arm and a leg for it. I should be wringing every last drop out of it, learning as much as I possibly can.

But here's the thing. And I have never, EVER complained about this before.

My program is teaching me too much in the way of critical thinking and theory. And yet I am in the final year of a baccalaureate degree in SCIENCE, for pete's sake, and I can barely describe the anatomy of the human body in scientific terms, let alone normal physiology. You want to know about disease processes? Forget about it. I feel like I don't remember a darn thing.

I can tell you a great deal about establishing therapeutic relationships, phenomenology, Nursing theory. But it has been two years now since I have learned anything about pharmacology, or nursing process.

Since I now possess excellent critical thinking skills, I know exactly where to find all the information I lack, of course. But I am about to enter into the working world, and here's the thing:

I know exactly what nursing as a profession needs, and I have learned enough that I could probably change the world if I wanted to. But I haven't learned enough about the actual job I will be performing when I graduate to be confident doing it. I never thought I'd say this, but I wish my schooling had involved just a wee bit more memorization work. Especially if it meant writing fewer papers.

I am so, so frustrated. And did you know, internet, that I am taking a class on critiquing research IN MY FINAL YEAR OF EDUCATION? Not, oh, I don't know, in first year, where I could then have used that knowledge every time I chose scientific references for my papers.

I see the value of what I have learned. I am prepared to enter into nursing practice.

But I'm not so sure I feel ready to enter into a nursing JOB.

A humble request.

In light of recent events and in celebration of finishing my summer practicum, I have decided to write a sort of living will.

I am a huge, huge beleiver in compassionate euthanasia (used in the right circumstances). I beleive that it could and should be used at a person's request in order to allow people to choose to die with dignity and comfort. If I move away from here, I will probably move to the Netherlands or Oregon or somewhere else which allows the use of compassionate euthanasia.

With the elderly being the highest consumers of health care, one of the most common things we see in the hospital is dementia. And I began thinking: what If I become too demented to request the dignified death I want and deserve?

So, that said, here is my living will in case I ever get dementia (based on recent hospital experiences). If you don't enjoy talk about poop, you probably should stop reading now.

1. I am okay with being incontinent of urine. I know this is a pretty common and unavoidable thing for a great many older adults. However, if I am unaware of the fact that I have peed myself, If I choose to go in a diaper instead of in the toilet, or if I am regularly incontinent of stool, it's probably time to go.
   
2. If I ever attempt to disempact myself, especially with an ungloved hand, it's probably time to go.
3. especially if I manage to fit MY ENTIRE HAND up to the wrist up there.
4. If I ever become so confused that I pull a catheter out of my bladder, it's probably time to go.
5. I am okay with meeting new people every day, but If I forget the names or faces of family members, it's probably time to go. If I start mistaking caregivers for family members, it's definitely time to go
6. If I donate all my money to a church or charity to the extent that I am unable to pay my rent or mortgage, it's probably time to go.
7. If I am in the hospital as a patient and beleive I am at work and that my roommate is my patient, it's probably time to go.
8. If I am in the hospital and crawl pantsless into bed with another patient because they are complaining of being cold, it's probably time to go.
9. If I ever poop or pee on the floor because I forgot where the bathroom is, it's probably time to go.
10. If I am ever unable to be reasoned with or become violent and need restraining, chemical or physical, it's probably time to go.
11. If I become disruptive to the point of being a 'hall monitor' patient, it's probably time to go.
12. If I ever hallucinate about politicians standing over my bed and attempt to physically harm them, it's probably time to go.
    

Fantastico

I have a crush.
a blog crush.

no, wait, a nurse crush.

whatever. both.

If anyone works anywhere close to childbearing families, you should read this.
If anyone is building families, or is even thinking of doing so in the near or distant future, you should read this.

This Labour & Delivery nurse is so. on. the. money. with her views and EVIDENCE-BASED information about the childbirth process. She might just be my new hero.

She is certainly exactly the type of nurse who I aim to be one day.

So, Without further ado:
NURSING BIRTH