Dear Dogface:

Dear Luna:
You drive me crazy sometimes. Usually, even. I wish there were a way to communicate with you that I sometimes imagine dropping your leash when we're out on a walk and making out like you've run away from me. Not unlike how I'm sure many mothers - good mothers, reasonable ones - sometimes have fantasies about just leaving their screaming kids in the mall somewhere to be someone else's problem.  Here, I thought you might enjoy a list of all the things you do that make me feel this way.

• The other day, you peed on the floor while I was getting dressed to take you outside for a pee.
• And last week, you pooped on the floor ten minutes after coming inside from a long walk.
• And I really love it when you howl and lunge at other dogs in your vicinity. It's charming. Especially since we both know you only want to play with them, but to everyone else you look like a ferocious maniac.
• On that note, it's also really nice when you trip me up with the leash to try and say hello to people who are afraid of dogs, and yet when someone tries to stop give you pats, you shy away or show no interest.
• And when you tear apart the trashcan while I'm away, that really makes me feel special inside.
• Almost as special as when you roll in cat poo in the backyard or dead, rotting bird/seal/fish at the beach.
• And it's really fun that when someone knocks at the front door, you go so batshit crazy that I have to put you in another room.
• Almost as fun as when you race me up and down the narrow stairs when I'm trying to maneuver up them with a laundry basket.
• Or your stereotypical obsession with mailmen. I understand your need to protect our house, but the neighbors across the street are probably doing okay on their own.

Actually, looking at this list, I'm surprised I haven't sent you running into traffic. (Which, by the way, is another thing you've done to drive me crazy.) Maybe it's something to do with your cute droopy face, or the way you tolerate more poking and prodding and tail-pulling than is possibly reasonable, or the way you come up to me when I'm sitting on the floor and push your whole head into my stomach so that I will scratch your ears and chin. Yes, it's definitely something to do with that.
Love,
Anna

Blurry, yes, but still cute.

The wimpiest dog in the universe.

It's rainy season again here, and last night before I went to bed, I let Luna out to pee. A few minutes later, I let her back in. I go to bed with a book.

When I arise to go to the washroom before falling asleep (30-ish minutes later) I notice a smell.

Surely enough, Luna has done both number 1 and number 2 on the floor. Do you know why?

BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID OF RAIN. So she simply stood out on the deck for the appropriate amount of time when I let her out before, formulating a plan to do her stuff on the floor when I let her back in, just as punishment for expecting her to actually GET WET. Apparently that's fine when we are playing on the beach, but this falling from the sky business is no good.

AFRAID. OF RAIN.

ridiculous.

The thing about hound dogs is...

I love my Luna Looney-tunes. I really do. I mean sure, I could do without the howling at anything that moves, but she's a sweet dog and a good one and will be with us until she's old and grey.
But the thing nobody ever told me about hound dogs* is that they shed like motherfuckers**. All the time.
Enough that dusting and vaccuuming EVERY ROOM is a daily necessity at our house. Miss a day, and we literally have tumbleweeds of dog hair floating around the house.
Every room, every day. I used to be a weekly(ish) vaccumer, so this was a big change for me. We have a furbuster and a shedding blade, which are supposedly two of the best grooming/shedding tools out there, and they keep things to a minimum for a day or so (while I've heard others say that they only have to use the shedding blade once a month and the furbuster once a season), but the dog hates them so much that it's hardly worth the effort.
Does anyone out there have any further tips to help me keep my sanity a little bit?

*Actually, we live in a largeish city in Canada, so nobody really told me anything about hound dogs, because nobody has any. I had no clue what I was getting into!
**I tried and failed to think of a better word to use here... sorry, mom.